Living with dementia
My name is Janice and I am a member of the rainbow community, and recently after the passing of my Grandma who lived with vascular Dementia I offered to clear the house for the family as I had been very close to her. With help from some of the family menfolk I got the bulk of the big stuff cleared quicky which only left a lifetime of personal papers to go through. I was then surprised to find that she had kept a diary all through the war years and beyond, she had written that she had met my Grandad Will, on VE night during the celebrations in London. They clicked as she said and they danced all the way up the Mal to the Palace where King George the V1 and the Queen Mother plus other members of the royal family made several appearances that day to show their appreciation and gratitude to the waiting crowds and the many military personel. They met on May 5th 1945 they lived together from Nov 1948 after a longish courtship, she said she wasn’t going to be rushed into anything. They went on to have 3 children my mum and her two brothers, my uncles. Sadly Grandad past early in life at only 62 after an accident but they had almost 40 happy yrs together, even though Grandad always had to do what he was told. After the funeral Gran struggled as she had lost her rock as she called Grandad and we as a family started to notice little changes in her behaviour and routine as she had been a stickler for organising hers and her families lives and keeping everything in order. Bless her she was a bit of an old busy body. It took a long time to get Grandma to go to the doctors to see what was going on as she was adamant nothing was wrong even when we got a diagnosis she would say, Doctors what do they know !!! I must say that after diagnosis there was little to no support available for Grandma, and this was extremely disheartening to us as a family who cared so much about Grandma. With a lot of online research by me things did get better I found that general support from Dementia UK and Alzheimer’s research is out there, so if your looking for general support have a look at their support pages, they are full of information to make your life easier. After 2 years or so Gran was unable to recognise family members which we found difficult and she was unable to perform daily tasks that once were quite normal, and she couldn’t recognise me as her granddaughter who had been at her side supporting her for a long time. This was the start of an illness that puts a big strain on the family. Watching someone decline in front of your eyes is often just too much to bear. Remembering the little things you enjoyed doing together over the years that no longer exist can be heart wrenching. I found I had to put my life and any lifelong aspirations I had on hold and dedicated the best care I could to my Gradma which I am sure if she is looking down on us now she would smile and be grateful for the care she received from those who were her loving family.
